Monday, March 5, 2012

The Lorax hates Vipers

Something interesting caught my eye on the way to see The Lorax at the Legends Theatre. More on that in a minute.

The Lorax is an animated movie that tries to deliver the message that it is bad to cut down trees for short-term personal gain, which is a nice message, I suppose. But then it turns its attention to the evils of big business and successful entrepreneurs. People should leave the environment alone, renounce large corporations and money, and live in a perfect utopia of cottony trees and adorable forest creatures under sun-drenched skies. Danny DeVito voices the Lorax, protector of the forest.

The Lorax definitely would not have approved of the eye candy that we spotted in the Russell Stovers parking lot on the way to the theatre. There was a hedonistic selection of Vipers, Lotuses, a Lamborghini, Ferrari, and Corvette. These guys were on a driving cruise from Jonson County, making little stops to shop and eat along the way.

No doubt about it, they were doing everything the Lorax warned us about—raping the environment of precious fuel to feed inefficient vehicles for personal indulgence. They probably killed a bunch of live teddy bears and animated fish just to be able to afford these evil machines.

So who were these gluttonous barbarians? I asked around, and they were being a little secretive. I think the Kansas City Viper Club spearheaded the operation, but most of what I gathered was that there was a “private Facebook page.” La-te-da.

One thing’s for sure; these cars do draw a crowd. There were all kinds of people taking pictures, letting their grubby little kids touch things, and otherwise acting like the cast of Glee made a stop at Russell Stovers. I’m still more of an old Chevy truck kind of guy, but I can’t deny the power of exotic cars.

So anyway, here it is, a little surprise coverage of a fancy car show. I also took a couple of pictures of the cool Walter P. Chrysler statue at the Legends, all of which is in the little slideshow below. Everybody seemed to be having a good time—but it was definitely not Lorax-approved.


  1. Hi my name is Dan Gordon and I started the facebook page (La-te-da indeed) and put on those drives with the help of my good friend Jerry. Glad…… it. :) We go on drives about 3 times a month (Anytime we take a break from killing baby seals LOL) and really enjoy them. We appreciate the story (Very well written) and would love for you to come out and take pictures and talk about are diabolical plan to slowly kill the environment one Lorax at a time. :)

  2. Wow. So this is what happens when you greet people with a smile, introduce yourself, and answer their questions about your cars, where you're from and what you're doing. They turn around and stab you in the back and insult you on the internet. I'm not sure Dr. Seuss would approve of such shenanigans. I don't remember reading The Cat in the Hat was an Undercover Rat when I was a child. All the smiling and laughing and camera snapping.....all just a ploy to dig for information to use against the very people who were nice to you. So riddle me this? Who made the children in the parking lot happier that day? Us, with our cars, letting them see things they'd never seen before? Or you, with your pessimistic, ulterior motives? One fish, two fish, red fish, rude fish. What irony that you reference a movie about a city made of everything plastic and fake. Methinks you would have fit in perfectly there.

  3. I guess you didn't pick up on the sarcasm?? I'll have to work on that a little more so people don't get the mistaken impression that I'm stabbing them in the back. ;-)

    Dan, thanks for the information. I'm all about promoting the local car scene.

  4. Craig,
    I personally caught the sarcasm and was laughing alongside you metaphorically as I read the article! I own the black Lotus that attended. Many of us participate in many local carshows and the KC viper club donates time and money to many local charities and show off the cars at charity events as well. Glad you enjoyed the cars and I really liked the sarcasm! A native New Yorker myself, I bleed sarcasm! Keep it up!
    Art Baldwin

  5. Jeez, Anon, lighten up! Thanks for the write up Craig--I always enjoy seeing these in-your-face cars!

    The Observer

  6. Just another reason to love Vipers!