Great movie car chases are almost exactly like real life

So yesterday I was wanted by the police for a murder that I didn’t commit. Unfortunately, they had enough so-called evidence to lock me up and throw away the key. The only way I was going to get out from under this was to catch the real killer. I broke out of jail by piling pillows under my covers, then I jumped out from behind the sink when they came into my cell to investigate. I then broke my truck out of the impound yard, and went to work.

The top ten greatest car show TV tunes of all time

When you were a kid playing with your toy cars, did you just line them up and look at them? Did you just inch them along in traffic and patiently sit at stoplights? Did you spend a lot of time pretending to conserve fuel? Did you worry about routine maintenance and car washes and where to park and any number of things that suck the life out of driving in the real world?

No, you didn’t. I’ll tell you right now, your cars were involved in high-speed chases. The fast cars ran away from the police cars. Everything could jump the coffee table. Nobody got hurt. And no car would suffer any damage, unless it played into your chase scenario.

Crazy commute this morning!

So I’m driving my Impala to work, when I notice the brake pedal goes all the way to the floor. I immediately know the problem—some no account goon cut the rubber brake lines. I look down at the speedometer, and even though it says I’m going 43, I can tell I’m doing like a buck-twenty. Not good.

I look down at my shoe, and it is frantically pumping the brake pedal to no avail.

Then to make matters worse, there’s a 14-car pileup on the highway ahead of me, and the road is completely blocked. Luckily, there’s a rollback parked with the ramp down, so I aim for that and hang on. Thank goodness I was able to clear the entire accident! My car completely wadded up and collapsed upon impact, but when I opened my eyes it was OK again.