Friday, November 19, 2010
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? How about Chevy Camaro and the Deadly Stallion?
Let’s look at the facts. The Camaro was a sporty car that emerged in no small part to the demise of the Chevy Corvair. Dark forces conspired to kill the Corvair, but they were unable to squelch the magic of the Camaro. In the movies, Harry Potter’s parents were killed by evil forces, while Harry went on to bigger and better things.
Harry Potter has to battle his mortal enemy, Lord Voldermont. This evil Voldermont character tries to kill Harry all the time. Substitute the words “Lord Voldermont” with “Ford Mustang”, and you have the makings of a real-life battle to the death.
As Harry begins to prove himself at Hogwart’s School for Wizards, AKA Pomona Dragway, other challengers emerge. For example, in the Prisoner of Azkaban, some tool named Sirius Black, who had already helped kill Harry’s folks, was back again to try and finish off Harry. As Ralph Nader and the federal government drove the Corvair into the ground, various fuel mileage standards and choking emissions controls conspired to destroy the Camaro’s image with bulky, underpowered offerings in the ‘70s and ‘80s.
When Voldermont seems like he’s finally not going to bother anyone anymore, he all of the sudden gets really powerful again in the Goblet of Fire. When the new Camaro came out in 1993, the Mustang had grown soft and not a huge threat to the Camaro’s image. But as the decade came to an end, the Camaro was steadily losing ground to the Mustang in popularity, as the Mustang continued to improve and become more popular.
After the 2002 model year, the Camaro was discontinued while the Mustang took over the market. In The Deathly Hallows (the current movie), Harry and his friends drop out of school as Voldermont’s power was at his peak.
In the end, the Camaro, I mean Harry, kills off the Mustang. I meant to say, kills off Voldermont. In real life, the Camaro and Mustang continue to do battle. Supposedly, this is the last Harry Potter sequel, but since J.K. Rowling has obviously been following the life of the Camaro this whole time, who knows—maybe another book is in order.
So how was that for an attempt at staying current with the latest news?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
How many months until car show season starts up again? I think I have a Hogwart on my--er, nevermind.